Beyond the Blue

The journey this week was down Definition Lane - looking into the moments in life that have defined us.

For me, one of my defining moments was leaving Tim, my first husband.....Oh my goodness after "Flying Solo" its starting to look like I'm leaving a trail of discarded men LOL!!

Here's the journalling:

One defining moment for me was when I decided to leave my first husband.

We had been married almost 3 years & oh my god! What an emotional struggle that was for me.

At the end of the day I decided to follow my Aunty’s advice…she said to me “Kell, there’s always going to good days & bad days – what you have to ask yourself is if the good days outnumber the bad”

Her advice made sense to me – from that day I took notice of how my good days compared with my bad – and to tell you the truth it was about 20/40/40 good/neutral/bad.

That was a real eye-opener for me…I did talk to Tim about it & we did try to make it work…well we had a lot of make-up sex LOL!!!

The thing about it was Timmy was more focused on his music – but that’s not to say he was to blame for our problems – I’ll confess most of our problems came from my expectations – I wanted to be a wife & Mum, settle down, buy a home & live a happy little life.

Tim, on the other hand, wanted to be a rock star, jam with his band & play gigs – which in itself isn’t bad & I did have a lot of fun at quite a few of the gigs…ahhh the good ole Lido Shuffle brings back some fond memories :o)

The strange thing is, that when I found out he was in bed with another woman it was kind of a relief – it gave me a “valid” excuse to leave & I’m ashamed to say, it also meant that I could blame him for the failed marriage.

But on the day that I told my family it was over I felt like a failure, I was embarrassed & I felt like I was letting them down & that I’d be causing them embarrassment.

I felt like there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t make the relationship work – no matter how hard I tried.

Today I have no hard feelings towards Tim, in fact, he remarried about the same time as I did & now has a little girl about the same age as Raven…he has the wife & family that I wanted – but now I have the husband I was looking for.

The brilliant thing about the whole experience was that it taught me sooooo many things – not necessarily all at once, but as I look back I can see that this experience has made me a better, wiser & more compassionate person.

Some of the lessons I learned:
· I am in control of my life – I don’t have to be miserable, I can change my circumstances.
· My family will always love me, no matter what.
· You can’t change a man – go into a relationship with your eyes wide open, don’t love a guy for “his potential”
· I am strong
· Forgiveness is easy – after a time LOL!

On this LO I knew I wanted to tear the photo & I also wanted to use a broken frame & florals at the sides of the frame as hinges & for the 2 sides to open to reveal the hidden journalling...it didn't quite come together how I envisaged, so I ended up using transparencies to create the "cover" for the hidden journalling....I'm quite pleased with how it turned out.

I was chatting to Tim on MSN yesterday & told him about the LO & to go check it out - he thought it was pretty good...just goes to show he really is a good guy :o)

OK just thougth I'd share that one with you...I've got a busy scrapping time ahead...end of month sketches & challenges to complete LOL!!!

I ordered some 5x7's for 35c from digitalmax...but they probably won't be ready until next week...that'll give me a nice start to April's challenges LOL!!

Now there's only 28 days til I head over to Aussie for the Embellished Retreat - Oh man I soooooo CANNOT WAIT!!!!

Colour Challenge: Blue

The colour therapy challenge over at Embellished is BLUE & when I went to visit Rhonna's this morning site to check out how to score a free class at Freestyle 2007...I found out that you need to complete the colour challenge there, which just so happened to be BLUE, & send her a link & let her know you want to win a free class.....

Sooooo, guess who was motivated today???

Moi of course..

so here is my BLUE LO...I'm thinking of doing an album for Mum of all 11 Mokopuna (grandkids)...so I have started with the youngest, Reign..I've used a touch of brown, cos those are the pps I had ;o)

Oh man he's a cutie!!!

I also got my Beyond the Blue Lo done...but I'll share that in another post...bedtime for the school girl - so I'd best be off ;o)

Freestyle Giveaway

Have you heard about the CC Freestyle give away??

Check out Nic's blog to find out how you can score a free class or 2 :o)

Another week bites the dust

Wow, this year certainly is flying by!!

School holidays are just around the corner...hmmm must think of some things to do with the little chipmunks!

Well, Scrappywise I've been a little productive...but still feel like I haven't scrapped - why is that????

On Friday night there was a cybercrop over at Lisa's (SBD) & I made these creations for that.

Mutual adoration was a 1,2,3 challenge: 1 hour, 2 words in the title & 3 peices of pp had to be used..I just love this pic of my bro, Lee & baby Reign just adoring each other - too cute. Oh I added a bit of ribbon to the frame since uploading for the challenge.

The Easter card was to a sketch & we had 30mins to complete it & the "create" ATC was another 30 min challenge to make a card/ATC/art journal entry using the word create.

The awesome butterflies you see came from the fabulous Julie Heard..but you can find out more about them here. I have been using them quite a bit lately - thanks Jules!!

Well, on Sunday we had a farewell lunch for my cousin over at mum & dad's, I made him a little album of us all to take with him & once it was made I dedcided that I would try out for the SBO design team...we had to create 2 LOs & an OTP.

One LO had to be new & the other could be an oldy....well that's where I stopped reading & went & uploaded my entries - further down in the conditions of entry it said that none of the items could be previously published on a blog - BUGGER!!! I'm a cyber scrapper - EVERYTHING I create gets shared - so I was almost of out of the game before it began - but Andrea let me know & so I whipped up a quickie to qualify for elimination hahahahahahahahahaha - where's the logic in that??

So, it looks like there's about 20 girls who tried out for the DT, and by the end of the week it'll be down to 10 & then the challenges start - so we'll just wait & see I guess.

There's some great stuff & some pretty well known girls trying out, so I'm not holding my breath.....even if I am checking the forum every half hour ROFLMAO!!!!

I'd love to share the album I made for Duncan & his family, I can't put the pics up here...but if you click here you can have a peek..and the other entries are of my Little Prince & our gorgeous little Malakai who is Finally Walking.

I think that's all the sharing I have for the day...the next Beyond the Blue Challnge is up...so I'm gonna work on that this week - there's also a colour therapy challenge, using your stash challenge, the new Elsie challenge, and I've still yet to do the March LO challenge & Sketch challenge for Embellished - so I'd better get my skates on....only 32 days til the Embellsihed Retreat...I can't wait to get on the plane & go & meet these girls!!!! The countdown is on!!

Oh & have you heard that the next Scrapcamp has been announced - there's no way I'm gonna miss this one - just gotta get my pingas together!!

Hmmmm actually I could borrow from Peter to pay Paul...will see what the week brings ;o)

Fabulous Weekend

Well I had a fabulous weekend... I spent Friday night & Saturday morning scrapping.

The latest Elsie challenge at Embellished is to use decorative scissors...so on "Mother Hen" I played with a couple of pairs...I was planning to do a JulieH flower with a strip of pp trimmed with decorative scissors - but that never eventuated...so I'll keep that wee idea for later ;o)

I just love this pic of our Ebby - she's such a mother hen always making sure her cousins are OK & that everything is running smoothly - such a sweetie-pie!!!

Then both SBO & SBD had a St Patricks Day challenge...SBO was to use a green base/cardstock..I delved back into my BG Phoebe pack for this "Mama's Princess" LO...I'm getting sooo much milage out of these pps!!! I used an old pic of Taigy - but its a fave :o)

Then Lisa's challenge for SBD was to do a monochromatic LO using a B&W or Sepia pic...again I was in the Phoebe pack for "reach"- not sure it would qualify a monochromatic at a scrapping olympics LOL! but I'd call the pp green - looks kinda blue in the pic but you get that LOL! Lisa gave a gift to all the entrants - man that chickee is GENEROUS!!!

"Brothers" is for another Elsie challenge (#19) at Embellished - to scraplift a colour combo..I lifted the fabulous Ms Ali Russell with her black/blue/green combo - I love it! A nice addition to E's or Creedy's album

And I finished the weekend off with my entry into SBO's MArch challenge of using a speech bubble...this is more of a thought bubble - but I just love this pic of Kohatu when I told him he wasn't allowed to draw on the computer...he looks totally perplexed as to why he's not allowed to do that - damn he's cute!!! Just wanna smooch those fat cheeks!!!

OK so, that was the scrappy front...the truly fabulous part of the weekend was getting to meet a new cousin.

When my aunty was young she gave a baby boy up for adoption & he came out from Australia to meet her & we all got together for a BBQ lunch at her place on Saturday.

He is absolutely LOVELY!!!!

He has a beautiful wife & 2 gorgeous daughters..they are here for 10 days - so I'm hoping to catch up with them again...BUT...

I took Ravey to the DR today as Wayne saw some ulcers in his mouth & I noticed a rash on his leg/bum - but it was blistered...the DR says its hand, foot & mouth disease - poor bubba!!!!

So we're going to be anti-social until it clears - bummer!!!

Beyond the Blue

Well this is my entry for round 2 of Beyond The Blue.

I popped in to Lisa's yesterday & picked up a pack of the BG Phoebe - now ordinarily I'm not a fan of packs...but there wasn't one pp I didn't LOVE in this pack - so it was well worth it!

I got some pieces of Stella Ruby too & some boyish Cherry Arte...might be seeing some nephew LOs popping up LOL!

On Tuesday night when all the whanau was over for Ravey's b'day they were looking at the "albums"...all ooohhhhhing & aaaahhhhhing & begging for me to do ones for them - ahhh they're funny buggers - I don't have a problem scrapping pages for them - but for goodness sake meet me halfway people - how's about giving me a photo or 2 to work with LOL!!

Ahhh bless them - they love my stuff!!

Anyway back to me hahahaha challenge 2 was The Road to Aquisition....to scrap something you are proud of...and well, i think I spelled it out in last night's post - but choosing to go it alone with Taigy is one of my proudest moments.

In some ways I can seem kind of callous..because I really do have a low tolerance for crap..but to be fair I also have a low tolerance for my own crap..I mean I get sick of hearing me bleat the same story twice - I know that if you don't like a situation you have the power to change it - or at least change your perspective of it.

One thing that has changed though is I don't think I give 2nd chances anymore... Timmy J got a 2nd chance even though he was found in bed with another woman while married to me, Steve got a 2nd chance out of fear & pity...but with Wayno we're working at making it right the first time & forever - so there won't be a need for a 2nd chance - isn't it marvellous how the universe gives you the right person when the time is right.

My little Prince is sleeping at the mo, so I think I might just try to whip up a LO :o)

Busy Doing Nothing

I'm not sure what's been taking up my days - but I'm not acheiving much & the days are flying by.

Her's one LO I did - but I think I created this last week, just didn't get around to uploading.

Made mostly with the FABULOUS kit I got from Lisa..Rouge de Garance pps - YUM!!!

I managed to finish off a CJ that was meant to be SENT on Monday - what a slack-bum!!

Oh, Ravey turned 2 on Tuesday & I had nothing planned - in fact I still haven't got him a birthday pressy...maybe I can wrap up the DVD's I bought the other week & the new Buzz Lightyear shirt - do you think he'll mind that I'm late.

Anyhoo, Tuesday morning arrives & Wayne tells Taigy that it's Ravey's birthday - then he shoots off to work early cos one of his staff is sick & he has to open - fine & dandy, but Taigy says to me "Are we having a party?" and I say "no" & she says "well then its not Ravey's birthday if we don't have a birthday party" so I do a quick ring around the whanau & hello we have 20 people for dinner!!

So I spent the morning getting groceries & wouldn't you know Countdown doesn't have something I need - so I have to go to Pak n Save - what a mission, Ravey was an angel for me though...didn't have a sleep though gggrrrr

So time comes to pick Taigy up from school & wouldn't you know it - just as the bell goes the rain starts, by the time we get to the gate it is POURING. I don't think Taiga has ever been rained on like that before & she DIDN'T like it - Rave had dozed off only to be rudely awaken by freezing cold rain & wind driving into him - poor bubba and to top it all off we weren't going straight home - Taigs had swimming lessons, so we picked up a birthday cake on the way - I figured its not likely to melt in this weather & off we went to swimming & Taigy did fabulously!! So proud of her wanting to go under & practise her big arms - what a champ (compared to the first few weeks of term with sooky la-las!!)

Then we go home & start to get ready for the party - no decorations (I've just realised now hahahahaha) just food - then we don't have enough custard powder for the custard to go in the trifle - so another quick trip down to countdown - which naturally means loading the kids into the car - what a pain in the butt!!! Surely someone is going to introduce drive through grocery shopping one day..anyway we eventually get home & Nanny & Poppy turn up YAY!!

Ravey was soooo cute he just got his pressy & was happy to play - unfortunately I didn't get any pics cos I was in the kitchen - now I realise the importance of letting Wayne do all the catering - must bear that in mind for next time LOL!!

When Aunty Lisa arrived Ravey saw his pressy & starts to sing Happy Birthday to Me - too cute!!!

OK I think I'm waffling here - was I trying to make a point????

Oh yeah busy doing nothing - so Tuesday I did something, Oh & Monday we went to see the lawyer - the law has changed since Taigy was a baby - basically the courts try to get you to work everything out amicably, or give you free counselling work towards that end.

So you don't really need a lawyer, from what I gather you just call the family court to get info - kind of a good thing.

But we're beyond that - not that there's any animosity at the mo - but the issues we face are ones that we know Steve has a bee in his bonnet about so we'll have to do it the expensive way LOL...man you think you'd get over the fact that she has a stepdad that she calls dad...as the vogels ad goes "its been 5 years micheal - get over it!!"

Oh...speaking of that - I did my #2 Beyond the Blue LO tonight - the theme was something you are proud of & I must admit that I am damn proud that I dumped that loser & moved on with my life -after seeing the lawyer it brought back a few memories - can you believe I was only with him for a year & in that time we had a break???

So, I honestly can't understand why he can't move on!!

And then there's the fact that he has 2 other daughters that he doesn't even acknowledge - apparently they were a mistake cos he was only 18 & 19 at the time...and get this - its OK to let them get on with their lives because "their mother was married & in a stable relationship" ummm so what was she doing screwing around with an 18 year old??? Meanwhile the girls would be 19/20ish by now.

When we were going through al the crap back in 2002 he tells the judge "there's no blood test to prove that they're mine" - yet he kept photos of them that the mother gave him - but the silly judge brushes those girls off as an act of youthful folly - one maybe, but 2 to the same mother ???? whatever!!!

The other memories that were stirred were of his pathetic little fits - tantrums really - if I phoned my friends, if I spent time with my sister/mother/SIL - he was jealous of me having any friends - any communication outside of the relationship - it was disgusting.

And I have a vague recollection of something about the car...he took it so that I couldn't go out or something when he knew I'd made arrangements to meet a friend - something like that - I think that was the straw that broke the camels back - I rang mum & told her to come get me I'm packing my stuff & moving home LOL!

God! What a loser I can't belive I wasted a year on him - but then I've got my Taigy I guess - but what a price to pay & to think that she has to put up with him - poor baby!!

OK I've rambled enough - I really should go hit the hay.

Nighty night

WARNING: Rant ahead...

OK fair warning :o)

Today's rant is about the anti-smacking law - what is up with that??

Yes, I think we all know that it is not good to use violence against children...and I am going to rant on with limited information- so this is a SAHM who caught a glimpse of the news & did a little google kind of rant...totally uninformed & based on the sensationalism of television journalling :o)

Let me just start by saying I don't really smack my kids - I'll confess to threatening the "smack", but the naughty chair usually suffices.

But the problem I have with this "law" is that they are trying to stop violence against children without seeking the cause of the violence.

I want you to post a comment if you agree or even if you disagree with this opinion.....

My opinion on the matter is that rather than pass an anti-smacking law (which I'm thinking would be ridiculously impossible to enforce) PERHAPS the governement should rather ENFORCE parenting classes for ALL parents.

Don't you think the children would be safer if parents were equipped to deal with rebelliousness, tantrums, disrespectful behaviour, lying, cheating & stealing, bullying etc???

I just think they are barking up the wrong tree.

Yes, there are children being abused & yes, we need to do something about this...but if parents who smack their children are breaking the law, then shouldn't they be punished???

And if they are to be punished - how so?? Are we going to send all the smackers to prison?? Then who will look after the children???

And if not - then what's the point of the friggen law??

So, really all I want to say is if the government wants to envade our homes & tell us how to raise our children - they should be part of the solution, not add to the problem.

I say, teach the parents to be better parents - ENFORCE that...give every abuser a super nanny for a month.

Here's an idea for the government....take some of their infamous surplus & put it towards parenting programs - firstly for people already convicted of abuse, then teen parents, then whoever else.

OK, well that's my wee rant...have to put my cheeky boy down for a sleep now - wish me luck hahahaha

White Pens

I managed to get some of those funky Signo Broad pens & I'm selling them on Trademe (memoryfairy).

I've only got 8 for sale, but apparently they're pretty hard to come by.

So if you want one let me know - cost is $10 including courier..or you can go through trademe if you prefer - but I'm using NZ Post for Trademe :o)

Friday's Update

Well Ravey & I went of to music this morning - I had fun, not sure if he did LOL...he's quite like Taigy in the fact that he'll sit back & watch, take it all in - then join in...so it's been our 3rd week today & he's still not quite there - but look out once he clicks!!!

Taigy tells me that school is boring...at the end of the day she is absolutely shattered but still wants a playdate LOL!

Her behaviour was just disgusting for the first couple of weeks...its getting better, but I think we've got a way to go yet.

I've been spending alot more quality time with her after school & this seems to be helping alot - but I really need to nail down some serious house rules...today we started with no TV in the morning...which is probably normal in alot of households - but the first thing Wayno does inthe morning is flick the TV on - so its not just the kids I have to train for this one LOL!

Some of the other mums at school commented that the teacher doesn't seem very happy - which I must say I agree with - mind you, its only her 2nd year of teaching - but something doesn't seem quite right - she gets impatient with the kids & comes off as quite strict - which is OK - but I wanted my baby to have a "Miss Honey" (like in the movie Mathilda).

I actually think this teacher would be suited to older kids...unless she can relax a bit more...one of the mums was saying that her little boy said "Miss XXXX doesn't smile very much mummy" which is quite sad - for her as well as the kids - cos she's only quite young - mid 20's maybe.

Well that's about her update...off to the lawyer on Monday - so we'll see how that goes.

Some layouts to share..."Raven's favourites" is another entry in the SBO Get Real Comp.

The pps are from the SBO February kit..and I'm really into circles this week...inspired by this LO from MM Idol.

And JulieH's journalling note swap over at Embellished has me totally in love with making my own journalling spots... on this LO I used my sassafrass lass brackets stamps & on my Beyond Today LO I used my L'il davis journalling stamps flourish..I just drew the circles onto index cards with a template :o)

My Beyond Today LO is #1 in a series of 12 weekly challenges set over the next couple of months at Embellished.

Ali's such an angel, she's raising funds for Beyond the Blue - a campaign to raise awareness of depression in Australia & over the 12 weeks we'll be taking a journey of our own - so far I'm LOVING it!!

OK, that's it for now...my precious son DIDN'T go to sleep when I put him down - so it looks like we're in for another adventurous afternoon :o)

A Quick Share

Nothing happening on the Taigy front...off to see a lawyer next week..seems like nobody was willing to listen to steve's patheticness otherwise I think I would have heard soemthing by now...but then again he's the kind to smile to your face & stab you in the back while handing out chocolate to others, so that he looks good hahahahaha

Anyhoo I have been scrapping - not so much cos I'm spending alot more time with my little princess.

There was a cyber crop over at Embellished last Friday night.

Oh & last month I won an awesome liquid chalk pen from the fabulous JulieH...check out the "Now & Then" it's done with my pen & laminated.

The laminator has been getting a workout lately...I use staz-on with my Heidi Swapp words like cherish, family, forever, love etc & whack them through the laminator & they come out like silhouettes...once you cut them LOL!

Lisa has a SBD challenge up for March - using die-cuts & stickers - quite pleased with my effort :o)

Megan has set March's challenge over at SE using a list of items she often scraps with:

Buttons

2 pp's

journalling

chipboard

rub-ons

ribbon

brads

I think that's all on the list...Love this pic of Baby Reign & I..he's such a chatterbox - too cute!!

I'm still working on the Get Real album for SBO - just one more page & then an intro page for the album...I have an idea for this one I think LOL!

I finished another page for the Get Real comp today..will take a pic in the morning & pop it in my gallery over at SBO. I must confess it has been a bit of a mission for me to keep to the rules at least 50% of the products available at SBO - but I have managed - lucky they started selling kits ;o)

And I'm trying to keep up to date with my Elsie challenges over at embellished.

Okie dokie - this was meant to be quick, so I'll sign off now & hopefully be back in the next couple of days :o)

Holey Guacamole!!!

I went over to Lisa's today to pick up my March kit - cos I'm too impatient to wait & FAR OUT!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe how awesome it is!!!

By now you may have noticed that I like a bit of bright...well the Rouge de Garance pps are right up my alley & Lisa has got a kit choc full of them along with some delicioso rouge de garange rub-ons....not to mention the ScrapFX alpha or the Go West monogram, let alone the Everlasting Keepsakes Framedango flourishy thing-a-mi-jig as well as some of the new primas and the little extras for the project (that's gonna be a heap of fun )- I can't believe you get a free class with the kit. AWESOME!!!!!!

I tell you it is SENSATIONAL value.

Sorry for the crappy photo I didn't think to take a pic during daylight - d'oh!

Yes indeedy, I think this calls for some new pics.

So girls it looks like I'm going to be a busy girl this weekend :o)

OK it's getting late & Taigy has decided that she wants me to drop her at school from now on..so it looks like I'm going to have to get up early... I'll try to convince her we should start our new routine on Monday hahahaha